Recovery Rides

Friends, there are reasons why you are not seeing me on the road as much these days. I would say that it is both a sad fact and an annoying happenstance that I may not be able to race this road season. My ankle's nerve, with effected area now retracted enough to allow me to wear most shoes, has put me in a spot where my legs are simply not there in strength nor ability. My job, flinging fashion at everyone that walks through the door, has me stuck in a life without rhythm. Though these two potholes have left me without much control over my riding, I will be the one to change all of that.

As most of you should know, that neuritis put me right out of the game. Put ever simply... As long as nothing touched where that nerve was screwy, I was 100%. Once something touched it, game over. I don't know how some people don't get it, but think of it like... either something is touching your elbow or it's not. That's all. Once something touched it, it either gave a tingling sensation (from a light touch) or an excruciating stabbing sensation (a rough kick). For a while there cycling shoes were out of the question. This is probably nothing new for those who have followed any bit of my lackluster cycling life the past few months. Yet, as that nerve damage has found its way out of my life, another hindrance has plagued my unsuspecting legs.

J. Crew's clothing is something I feel lucky to wear. No one needs to wear clothing that can cost this much, but some people will drop thousands in one trip to that store and it's evident that the job I have can get hectic. I'm sure many of you have worked retail before. Remember, if you will, the kind of schedule one has to keep when working retail. What schedule, you ask? Exactly. My schedule for the rest of the week is as follows:

• Wednesday - 11am-8pm
• Thursday - 11am-7pm
• Friday - 12:30pm - 9:30pm (will be later for closing)
• Saturday - 9am - 6pm

Some weeks are better than others, yet none have a predictable attribute beyond me usually opening on Saturday and probably closing again on Sunday. I get that I can ask for weekends off, or Tuesdays and Thursdays left open to train, or for some pattern that might allow me to put some training in, but that's not all that I'm after.

I am happy to have a job, but I hope you can understand how limiting (in more ways than I will mention here) a retail job like this one can prove to be. To keep this on a positive spin, I have been making strides to better my situation and am open to changes that will facilitate development in every aspect of my life. My resume has been updated and I am currently churning out cover letters and applying to places where I feel my abilities are better suited while my cycling can continue as I need it to.

Thanks for reading.

Throw A Bone

I don't know where this one will go, but I feel like I might as well write a bit.

Today is a day off and with the weather the way it is, spending time indoors is just gonna happen. But I can say that, for me, spending time indoors pretty much has to happen.

You guys... I don't miss the snow. At least in the state that my feet have to be in anywhere I go. Sure, snow is pretty and I don't mind cold weather, provided I am smart about what I wear, but as far as footwear; I'm limited. But alright. we've been here before. John is stuck in his Sperry topsiders - we get it.

I am not, however, stuck with nothing to do. Aside from continuously developing my skills in hashtagging all things witty in my life, I am also working to figure out more of where I want to be in the future. If there ever was a more important homework assignment, my boss told me that I need to work to figure that out over the next few months.

Sleepy Sally.

Success is ambiguous and subjective.

My definition may be more muddled than some of yours, but I'm beginning to figure it out. I believe that for me, success is going to have to be a step-by-step thing. I have to accept that for now, I do not have a grand view of what five years ahead will be like for my life. Maybe the question to ask is where I don't see myself in five years; or even one year.

I mean, at one year from now, I do NOT see myself still living with my parents. I do NOT see myself with a bum nerve in my ankle/foot. I do NOT see myself still selling mens clothing at J. Crew. I do NOT see myself being anything but happy.

But don't get me wrong, now. I am a happy person. I have moments where I'm more tired than I would like to be - thus dragging my mood through a dreary, ghost-of-sappy-moods-past, blahblah drench of mud. But you all know I'm not one to enjoy any of that.

In a year, I see myself with an apartment of my own. I see myself with my bike so yearning for the race season to begin. I see myself working hard for something I may have never seen myself doing. I see myself watching my life shaping out well toward a balance of finding my direction and still being open for anything that comes my way. I see opportunities unfolding throughout this year ahead of me that will put me in a place where I can begin to see ahead 5 years and beyond.

That's what it is! I'm just not there yet. I am absolutely capable of seeing beyond the immediate to where I want to be, but I'm just not in the position to see that far ahead. Right now I sell clothes. Next year, who knows!?!

Opportunity is a stepladder to Success.

There is a wall of doubt, fear, and stress, that can build up in all of our lives when things just seem to not add up for what we want. Opportunity, as I see it for me now, will be a way to see over that wall. I don't know how it will come, and I cannot expect anything from it beyond a challenge, but I am excited and up for it.

I had really hoped that the people I met through cycling would be able to provide connections toward an opportunity for me to see over my "wall." Though some did offer their help and words of encouragement, nothing too much came of it as I decided to apply for the job I have now.

I do not see myself here years down the road, but I do see myself owing a lot to what I have learned here about the people I have been exposed to. I do not take my time and efforts at this job for granted even if it's not where I want to be. How can I when I don't even know where I want to be?

I know that I can be successful with almost any job that I am given. I have not worked in offices or regular day jobs that have come about through internships like so many seem destined to land and drive their careers in. Yet I am confident that I could do so much with an opportunity to make a real difference in places I work. I have a creative, personable, diligent manner about me and how I perform. I know that I do not need a masters degree and 7 years of experience to be able to handle a job that I want to get, but can't because on paper I'm inexperienced. I know that given the right opportunity, I can make the most of and thrive with almost any job or career that I choose to pursue. I know something will open up for me and I can't wait.

Ask me what I want to do, and all I may be able to answer back to you is a cheesy "I want to be given an opportunity." Maybe that's the wrong attitude to some of you, but there are people around me that see a lot in me that I have been so waiting for someone to notice. In a way, have struck gold with this job at J. Crew. The people I directly work for, I not only look up to, but consider my friends. Their tenacity, diversity, passions, and goofiness is amazing to me. They see a potential in me.

I now see a world that isn't so scary and I wanna get after it.

Thanks for reading.

No Woes

Happy New Year, friends. I have really enjoyed my time with family and some of you and I hope you all have enjoyed this crazy time of year as well. I do think there is a lot in store for this up coming year, but maybe that's just the positive thoughts I have seeping through my fingers on to this screen talking. Anyway, I figure I might as well focus on the positives; too difficult not to.

Now, fortunately, there is no tragic even happening in my life that prompts me to be talking this way, but there is a rather bothersome annoyance that I am having to deal with. Surely you've all heard me discuss my foot/ankle situation before. At this point, it's still no different. I really do appreciate the well-wishes and suggestions on how to mend this ailment, but methinks time will have to be my mender. I have just come back from an appointment with a foot/ankle-specific doctor and we have diagnosed my condition and located the guilty party.

I have something called neuritis effecting the sural nerve in my right foot. Neuritis, in short (as I understand it), is a change in the state of the nerves that results in weakness, loss of reflexes, or changes in sensation. Causes and symptoms vary. Skipping to my situation specifically, the neuritis in my right foot was most likely caused by an injury at work (jumping down from a shelf that was a little too high for me to be jumping down from) and the symptoms, of course, are an excruciating stabbing pain on the top of my foot close to my smaller toes when any pressure is applied under my outside, right ankle. That's pretty much the best way that I can explain it for you all. I am not exaggerating when I say "excruciating." It is incredible how debilitating this can be considering that nothing of this magnitude has ever hit me before. As you know I have changed my shoe (the only pair I can wear) for work so I can still do all that I need to there, but you all know that's not what I'm worried about with this neuritis.

As it goes, I am still unable to ride my bike as I want to. Not being able to do something that I am so very passionate about is a certain blow. Not being able to ride is annoying, but allow me to explain, for those that may not know, how much of a blow this is to me. Not being able to ride means not being able to train. Not being able to train, means not only a setback to my racing schedule, but also my ability, my strength, my goals for the season, my aspirations for the sport overall (more on that in a sec), and my love of being able to push myself beyond words I can figure to say here. Cycling as a developmental sport is not one that a serious participator can take lightly if they are looking to continue success. I realized a lot about what I need be doing last season in order for me to stay competitive. In order to stay competitive, (or even be able to compete) I need to be able to train. It's a constant thing. Consistency is huge! I can feel my legs getting weaker. I can feel my body losing ground. I can feel myself getting dropped in every race I enter next year. At the level that I hope to compete at... I am being set back not only for this year, but years to come.. I am losing miles, hours, time, and everything I want to have to continue to build upon to be better and to win. When I think about how weak my legs must be getting, all this time lost... I feel a physical pain in my body. This means a lot to me. That is what this silly neuritis is costing me and this paragraph makes me want to puke.

But I'm not gong to puke. I might have to get an MRI. I might have to get poked with needles to shock my nerves. I might just decide to chop off my foot and call it a day (like someone seems to consider as the only rational solution...).

But let's get real here. Life isn't so bad. Yes, I am still able to work, and yes, I am surviving. This will eventually go away. Sure, it's frustrating that a doctor can't open me up - slip the nerve to a place where it won't be irritated - sow me back up - and say it's fixed. Sure it's frustrating to not know when this may actually go away. That's all well and annoying, but that's not worth me worrying about.

I will get back to my love of cycling (the way I love to do it) eventually and you know what!?! I decided that even though I couldn't train as I'd love to on a beautifully unexpected 60 degree day in January, I would ride the best way that I could.

Never taken for granted.

This is one of the things that made me smile today!

Sally is one that made me smile too!

It was a short ride, but I needed it. Cycling has taught me to be able to take everything that happens to me in the immediate physical world as well as emotionally as they happen; as life happens - as life goes on - because life does go on. I cannot waste time feeling sorry for myself, wallowing in woes, or worry about anything that I cannot control. I have learned to appreciate the successes, while taking the unexpected (good or not so good) and burdens of life with the knowledge that I am working for the best outcome and that eventually I will be better as I choose to be. Having time off the bike has allowed me to discover a few more passions and certain people that mean a lot to me. Life is busy for me and I want to keep it that way. I'm still a Colombian!

I appreciate you taking the time to read this and for teammates, competitors, and cyclists alike, I hope you all are having a successful, productive offseason and are looking forward to making the most of you and your bike this 2012 season. I'll be out there eventually. Don't allow me to make any excuses.

Again, thanks for reading, all.

For The Holidays: Me

A wish list shouldn't be made out of the same materialistic monotony so many make year after year. Rather, a wish list should be created out of a grandeur beyond things you feel too vain to go out and spend your own money on. My wish list lies somewhere between beauty pageant hopes of utilitarianism, (It's a post Kim Jong Il world, y'all!) and more courage in my quest of reaping the benefits of tasteful, shameless self-promotion. Now, I know that may seem like a tall order, but sip away at this cocktail and I'm sure you'll find my intentions are pure and simple.

Ever find yourself at a loss as to how you can make a difference in people's lives?

Not me.

In fact, I have found that by being myself (some of the best advice I've gotten), I can make friends, find success, and go beyond my wildest dreams. Well, I haven't found that last part yet, but the potential is potent. For those that don't know me... put me on your wish list.

There's a lot to me that probably no one person realizes. I have a smart side, a goof side, a party side, a let's get things done side, a dumb side, a "I feel fat" side, a "I've never felt better" side, an annoying side, a nerd-out side, a dork-out side, a hermit side, a passionate side, a idgaf side, an insecure side, and a side or two that I probably don't even realize are there. So, looks like we're on the same page.

What more could this Johnny, John, JohnnyBrison, Johnny B., Johntacular, Clark Kent, Superboy, Chooran, JohnnyCocaine, ,JohnJohn, have in store for everyone!?!?!!? It's anyone's guess, you see.

You surely know of my blog here, but do you know of my other blogs and blog-style sites!?!?! I do keep them separate as I have found that each carries a different vibe that I feel necessary to keep apart from one another. Yet, I am finding myself with a certain yearning to show people more of who I am. It's nothing personal, but I choose to not share a lot of my other interests because I don't think there will be a certain level of understanding or respect for me ... wait... yeah that's called feeling insecure.

I was a rather quiet young person. Insecure? Definitely. Nowadays, I really enjoy socializing and finding new ways to relate to different people. It's a realization that this life is all that I can be certain of and there cannot be any time that I feel I am wasting it. What I like to do with my time is not what you might like to do, but we're here to be different and me putting more of myself out there for you all, though it may seem risky, is something I want to do.

That being said, if you search "JohnnyBrison" on Google you might find more of me than you may expect. But instead of you all taking the time to do all of that, I thought I might as well drop you some links and a brief description of each as I see them. You can click, enjoy, follow, subscribe, join me, forget me, laugh, make fun of, shrug, fall in love with, or do anything you choose to do with the following links. Not my problem.

Blogger ... oh yeah; where you're reading this.

• Twitter ... this is where I follow cyclists and friends that have taken up twitter. I am reserved, but open to the point that I will tweet drunk and it is what it is.
• Tumblr #1 ... scroll through and click to see more... scroll through and click to see more. This is my passion of cycling manifested through pictures, words, ideas, and the internet. Tumblr allows me to experience and understand more about the sport of cycling that I love. This blog will dive into a few personal thoughts of mine that I keep from other outlets on the internet, but you see... this one has a theme.
• Tumblr #2 ... now, this one may blow your mind a bit. I have only shown this to a few select people. I am one that appreciates a lot that goes on in this world and have no other way of adequately showing it or cultivating it until tumblr. This tumblr blog has more vanity to it than I will ordinarily express, but life is short and I will not ignore my appreciation of what I see as beauty, inspiration, and what I sometimes don't understand.
• Youtube #1 ... some of you may have seen these videos before, but here you are. I hope to have more on the way, but my time for video making has been sent in another direction, though I do not want this one to pass away.
• Youtube #2 ... some of you may know about this collaboration, but I'm very happy to be a part of it. I hope you subscribe and enjoy more of these that we will be making! 
• Vimeo ... it's kind of the same as my youtube#1 account.
• LookBook/Chictopia... full disclosure, people. Yes, I have profiles in each, but I'm no longer updating them, and I am allowing those to pass, though I do sometimes find some inspiration there.

Wow, that was more than I anticipated. Feel free to do what you will with this information. And again, feel free to Google "JohnnyBrison" to see what you're missing in life. I hope that I haven't offended, scared, scarred, or somehow lost anyone with all of this about me. I'm not trying to beat you over the head about me, but please remember that this blog is more for me than it will ever be for you.* Don't take it personally, just know that it's personal... to me... so, me talking more about me is my way of allowing myself to drop the insecurities and know that there is not a thing to be afraid of when I feel like expressing more of who I am. It's like a "I don't want to wast any more time feeling like I have things to hide."

Thank you for reading. If you clicked on one or more of those links, I am forever grateful. I'm nothing special,  just someone that knows I can get away with a lot. If you have any questions... never hesitate to ask me at johnnybrison@gmail.com . I'm getting sleepy and I look forward to tomorrow and the holidays ahead. J. Crew is a little craycray, but I'm enjoying it.

* I really don't expect this post to cause much of a stir.

Worst Foot Foward

I've got no choice in the matter, friends. My right foot/ankle has taken me out of commission (of sorts). You see, if anything touches just below my right ankle a shooting twitch of intense pain, as if a knife is slicing my foot from the inside out, happens and I cannot take another step until pressure is relieved and time for me to recover happens. I imagine it to be a nerve, tendon, obscurely annoying kind of injury I sustained whilst running/jumping around for work.

Thing is, this injury is a non-factor for work as long as I do not have any footwear touching that right ankle of mine. Thus, my solution:

These Sperry Top-Sider kicks are THE only kicks I can wear... at all. I mean unless I just flatten the heels of every right kick I have... this is it. Although, some might've thought it a fashionable statement to wear one wingtip and one sandal at work, I could not allow that to go on for too long.

What is going on for too long is this foot issue. I may have to visit the doctor again, but I really can't imagine what he would be able to do for me. I think I'll just let it be, hope nothing hits/rubs/touches/thinks of touching my right ankle and eventually this will get better.

What is really getting me upset about this foot/ankle issue is that I cannot ride my bike. I'm not about to try and train with one Northwave cycling shoe clipped in and a Sperry/sandal on the other foot. Nope... not gonna happen; and it sucks. I miss my bike.

But, hey! I'm a realist and a moderate optimist... it's not all that bad. I can still work and make money. I absolutely love my job and am happy with life these days. I've said it before, but feeling appreciated for the hard work that I put into my job means a lot to me and I hope to keep it up. This aforementioned issue will pass and that bike is a patient being in my life. I am making friends and doing things that I enjoy. The bike will never leave me.

I'm thinking about that tattoo I've been wanting to get.


Thanks for reading. Anyway, for those that know of my cycling goals for this next year... who knows what will happen, but the realist in me outweighs the optimist. I will do my best and ride when I can. I have a few things in my queue that I want to get after in the new year. You'll see.

Hello Again

Yeah, yeah... it's been a while. With that said, changes have happened to me and my youthful life here in NoVa.  I wouldn't imagine that these changes are anything momentous like marriage, expecting a kid, or other silly adult things. Yet, having a job that I appreciate while feeling the appreciation in return is a pretty big thing for me. I do not know what the future of it all holds, of course, but as long as I feel like I am in the right place and can continue developing myself and the things I want, I am in no rush to be anywhere else.

Where am I? Well, I am working at that J. Crew I mentioned before in Tysons Galleria and enjoying it a lot. It might be my low-key o.c.d., my personable manner and attitude, or just some good timing and luck that has me at this J. Crew, but I feel big things are happening. Some weeks, I put in over 40 hours and am happy to do it. Some days I feel so tired, but ever satisfied with how much effort I put into the work, system, organism, that is this J. Crew. I was originally trained as a men's sales associate, but have become more of the store director's assistant. When changes need to be made, when moves must happen, when cleansing is critical, I am among the go-to for those necessary actions to take place and I love it. Some days are tough, while others are a welcome respite from the hustle.

I don't suppose I have made any enemies at work, and darn-it... I sure hope I never do. The people I work with are an interesting, fun bunch. I'm not about to rate anyone here, but the faves know who they are. Anyway, like I've mentioned, changes are on the way to this store and things are going to continue their upward trend here. I may be meeting the CEO, Mickey Drexler, next week as well since apparently he will be helicoptering around the area. Now, that does mean that the store will have to look all pretty and proper. tomorrow and the next day = a hustle.

Some emerging opportunities are happening for me and I don't want to miss out. I won't allow it, but more on that later.

Thanks for reading.

Johnny Interviews; Johnny's Hired

I feel I am very much overdue for a post here. I am in the middle of some transitioning right, but in a good way. See, I have just landed a new job at J. Crew. Seriously after not even 2 minutes of an interview with the store director, I was hired on the spot and tossed into training for mens sales that night. Actually "that night" was this night (or last night, really). So, that's an interview, hiring, and 4 hour crash-course training in mens sales all in one day. This J. Crew store at Tysons Galleria in McLean, Virginia is a very big one for J. Crew. This locations gets some exclusive pieces of the line that 99% of the other stores do not. Does that make me part of "the 1%"? I think, in some third-party way, yup.

I have been hired as a sales associate exclusively for mens clothing and am very excited at the huge leap forward my wardrobe just took. The store director that interviewed and hired me said they have never hired anyone as quickly as they did me, (1 minute interview and all) saying she recognized an attitude from me that would sell clothes well! (I don't know what she meant exactly, but I'm happy to have it.) I am trying to absorb as much as I can from the four hour crash-course training I just had and the further immersion I will have tomorrow morning. I have told them that I am available any time they need me, but hopefully I can work some time off to watch some cyclocross racing at DC Cross this Sunday, and definitely time to hit up my beloved IUP for Halloween weekend. We'll see. That means "no promises." Anyway, I've been working on a few new "channels" of blogging and have been making strides to begin more shameless "self-promotion." I don't know if I will drop any/all the details of that here just yet, but we'll see how shameless I will get you all can handle.

Here is a video from my YouTube channel (TheJohnnyBrison) and it is a step in the direction I want my videos to take. Realize that this is me putting myself out there more than I am usually comfortable as the audience I have here is not exactly the audience my videos and some of my other self-promotions are intended, but it wouldn't be shameless if I didn't just embrace it... or have you all embrace it whether you or I like it or not.

Hope you enjoyed it enough. I'm still learning how to effectively put these things together at a pretty fast pace. Feedback would be appreciated, but constructive would be best. I'm my own worst critic, and I know I'm putting myself out there more. It is what it is. I am very proud to be working not only for J. Crew, but this particular one and hope that any of you all that will be in the area and possible looking for some wardrobe additions and updating will not hesitate to visit the store! I would love to help you fide everything you need.Thanks for reading. Thanks for watching.